There’s a perception in figure skating that success is a steady climb. That if you work hard enough, you keep improving, placing higher, and everything builds in a straight line.
I’m here to set the story straight: it rarely looks like that.
If anything, a career in figure skating is defined more by the downs than the ups. The highs are amazing – great performances, strong results, moments you feel endlessly proud of—these are what people see. And admittedly what most skaters share to the outside world. But in reality they’re only a small part of the full picture.
Separating performance from identity.
One of the biggest challenges in skating (and in all sports) is how easy it is to tie your self-worth to your results. In skating, we train year-round for a few minutes on the ice. And when those few minutes don’t go the way you planned, it can feel like it defines who you are and what you are capable of.
Over time, I’ve had to learn how to separate who I am from how I skate. A bad skate doesn’t erase the work put into the performance. It doesn’t define my value as an athlete, and more importantly, as a person. The more we can realize that as an athlete we are more than our athletic endeavors, the stronger we will be in those athletic endeavors.
Finding purpose beyond results.
One of the most important shifts in my mental approach to skating has been learning to find purpose beyond external outcomes. Results will always matter in a competitive sport, we would not be athletes if we weren’t competitive. But those results can’t be the only source of meaning.
Over time, I’ve learned to ground myself in the artistry of the sport—my partnership, the commitment to what we’re building together, and the impact we can have on those watching us skate – rather than just the final score or placement.
And even more importantly, beyond the satisfactions drawn from sport itself, it is so important to find balance through outside passions and interests. For me, this was music. I began to see how fueling my outside time with something positive and enriching such as learning how to DJ created more happiness in my day to day, and more eagerness to go do the “hard stuff” during training. When people ask what one piece of advice I would give to someone looking to become an elite athlete, truthfully, it is this: Find balance. It will not only make yourself happier, but it will make you a stronger athlete.
Riding the waves.
There are seasons where nothing clicks. Competitions that don’t reflect the work you’ve put in. Times when you feel stuck, or like you’re moving backward instead of forward. Those moments can make you question your training, your goals, your abilities.
Mental resilience isn’t about pushing those thoughts away.
There is a lot of research around the concept of Acceptance and Commitment (ACT) which discusses finding mental resiliency not through pushing unwanted thoughts or feelings away, but by allowing the thoughts and feelings to have space, and then committing to something that you value and that is more meaningful.
To me, this is something that has helped me massively throughout the highs and lows of my career. All the doubtful moments and the unclear future felt more manageable when I chose to put my energy into something that was meaningful to me.
**For more information on ACT, I would recommend these resources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapy-types/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy-act-therapy
“It’s your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop.” — Dieter F. Uchtdorf
